Saving Your Marriage | Communication Styles
Are you stuck in a pattern of arguing the same way? Sometimes you get stuck in a rut and your communication style might need revamping. Here are some common types of communicators. Look to see which category you fall into. Saving your marriage may depend on your communication style changing. We promote The Negotiator, because this is a healthy way to give and take until you reach an agreement you and your partner can both live with.
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Couples Who Never Fight
Although they may appear to have the perfect relationship, couples who never argue come dangerously close to shattering their relationship. Even if it is a disagreement, couples who avoid conflict altogether are not building trust and confidence in learning about the other. Often the couple fears abandonment the most, and feels that fights mean eventual abandonment. However, by not allowing disagreements, resentments build up until eventually one of the people leaves, which cause the abandonment they so feared would happen.
A Peacemaker
The peacemaker does not like to be in an argument and will do whatever it takes to figure out how to make everything right, even at the risk of not being heard. They will listen to the other side and either switch over to that opinion or else find a way to alter the situation to make it work for the other person.
A Passive Promoter
The passive promoter will nag, repeat the same thing over again, use silence or just ignore the other person’s wants to get what they want. Often there is no anger showing or strong words used, but they get what they want by breaking the other person down. Saving your marriage usually can’t happen by using passive means which usually cause the other partner to become frustrated.
The Sponge
The sponge is so afraid of being in an argument they will absorb the opinion and feelings of the other person completely to be in agreement at all times. This happens at the expense of their wants and needs, so resentment and anger is usually bubbling at the surface. It may come out in other channels, either towards friends, children or work associates.
The Warrior
The warrior has probably had to fight for what they want their whole life. Often it comes from being in a large family or a sibling rivalry. The only way they can protect themselves is to make sure they win every argument.
The Negotiator
The negotiator is able to listen to the other side without feeling guilty. They can share their opinion, wants and needs and not be afraid to voice their thoughts, even if the discussion gets heated. The negotiator can then look at what they have heard their partner say and decide to give and take what is needed to make the situation work for both they and their partner.
You can become the Negotiator with practice. The Negotiator wants a peaceful outcome and will talk with their partner to find the best solution. They have confidence and stay true to what they believe is right. However, because they listen and ask questions to uncover hidden meanings behind their partner’s anger, they are able to learn and adjust as needed to solve a problem.
Saving your marriage hinges on becoming a better communicator with your partner. Remember that change begins with you. If you need help learning how to talk things though, try a marriage help course or counseling.
